3 weeks out!!!

So three weeks ago today I was having my surgery. This morning I weighed in at 207.8. So my weight loss has slowed down a lot, but I think partially it`s because I am having trouble getting enough in. I still am no where near 2 liters of fluid a day which I am finding so frustrating. So today I have a plan which I will be starting soon. My goal today is to try and get 1600 ml. Which is about 300 more than I usually get. I started soft food last week. I was so excited and the first things I tried went very well. I foolishly tried some chicken and didn`t make it fine enough. That night I was in so much pain. I couldn`t believe that anything could hurt that bad. I was up for almost 3 hours in pain in the middle of the night. It definitely took me back a bit and I am definitely moving forward more slowly now.
We went away for a few days which was a nice change. It was hard to travel and find foods I could eat. We discovered Wegmans and their salad bar which was nice as I actually could eat things with my family. I have also become a huge fan of hummus which I never imagined I would like.
I got to do some shopping while I was away. I got some clothes that normally I never would have purchased. It was really fun!!!
I`ve been having some emotional ups and downs. I hope this will go away once I can do more. I want to do everything I used to, but obviously that`s going to take a bit. I read too that the hormones in my body are probably so messed up right now which could be causing this as well.
So today is all about fluids and trying some ground beef. I am going to get extra lean and puree it. I am really craving some sort of meat! Plus I am supposed to have so much protein. Tomorrow I can have peanut butter... I am praying that goes well as i LOVE my peanut butter!!!!

I am feeilng good about what I`ve done! and can`t wait to continue moving forward.

Over a week out..

So it's been over a week since my surgery and I am down to 209.9 as of this morning... That's 30 lbs down since June 13th... Crazy. So my total weight loss now is 120. Im pleased. I am working hard still to get my fluids in. It's been a bit of a struggle, as I still cannot do 2 liters like I need. I am getting a liter and a half on a good day. So I continue to work away. It has caused me to feel quite dizzy at times, so I need to be cautious.
I have very low energy right now too, so needless to say I am not doing too much. I need to get out walking more so that's today's goal. Hoping to walk four times today.. Just short walks, but needed walks. Might provide a little sanity too! lol
I haven't had any gravol in a couple of days, so that's a victory. It's definitely a bit of a recovery ahead, but I know it'll be worth it.
I took my dressings off my incisions and was absolutely amazed how small they are. There are only 6 incisions and the largest one is just over an inch. That's so small. It's incredible.
I keep looking at my arms and legs and they don't look like they are mine. I just wish I could choose where I would lose the weight first.. lol. There still may be a bit of swelling in my stomach area, but that's where I hope to lose weight now. I guess I don't have much choice right now.
So the recovery is going well, a few minor set backs this weekend, with dehydration being a concern and a lovely case of thrush, but I am on the mend and moving forward!!! Pics to come in a few weeks!!

Home!

Well today is my second full day home. I came home Sunday around noon and was just so happy to be here. I am working very hard on getting my fluids. I never imagined this would be so hard. The goal is to get 2 liters a day. Yesterday I was able to do 1 liter and that was working ALL day to do it. I sip and sip and sip and sip, but the good news is that I did manage to get my 60 g of protein yesterday. That was accomplished by 10 pm. Today, I have accomplished my 60 g of protein and it's only 4:30. So that's exciting. Leaves me some room for some other foods. The protein is coming from shakes, so that's my fluid too. I am allowed to have greek yogurt, smooth yogurt, jello, sugar free pudding, and fat free cream soups that have been strained. Yesterday I didn't get much extra. But today I did have some soup at lunch. And I plan to have some soup for dinner. I love the saltiness of the soup.
It's funny with all my family around supporting me, they have been having some really good comfort foods. A lot of foods that are easy but so good. They've had pizza, and some dishes I really enjoy. Despite seeing it and smelling it, I just don't want them. The one thing I am loooking so forward to is to have ground meat.. ground chicken would be amazing. I am about 2 weeks away from that stage, but it amazes me what my body wants.
I am feeling better every day. I have to be careful not to do too much. I get tired easily, but am beginning to feel good enough to try things. So finding that balance will take a bit.
I have steped on teh scale. It is interesting. When I got home from the hospital I think there was a ton of gas that was in the way. As that is going away my weight is dropping fast. I was actually 224 when i got home from the hopital (almost 4 pounds more than when I left) and today I am down to 218.3. So I do think some of this weight is part of the healing process. I am going to try and give it a week to see where I am at.
I am swollen though so I wouldn't say I look thinner right now. But I am so excited for what is to come.
Me.

36 hours after..

So I had my surgery.. All went well.. Apparently while they were in there, they also found a hernia (which I knew nothing about) and fixed that too! I still find that a bit strange.
I have been up and moving around, although today was tough at times because of all of the gas. It's amazing how much your shoulder can hurt from gas. 
I've been getting in some of my fluids. I've had water, carnation instant breakfast and some peach juice. I refuse to drink cranberry. I am just not that desperate. lol.
I am taking in somewhere between 60 ml and 120 ml of liquid every hour. I am slowing down right now as i just find i am so full. The gassy feeling might not help either.
This might sound strange but the amount of pain has surprised me a bit, but I imagine they don't tell you this for a reason. Morphine was a close and dear friend last night and today I've been taking Tyenol 3s. It's funny because everything has to be liquid, so the tylenol 3s taste like cherry cough syrup. My whole life i've hated cough syrup. But i guess i can bare it to get rid of the pain. I have been told that most likely I am going home tomorrow. I can't wait. I am missing my son so much! Although it was great when he came and saw me today and asked me "feel better?".
Well I am off to sleep now. Hoping to get a few hours in a row.
Me.

Counting down...

24 hours from now I will be out of surgery!!
My mind is racing. I am thinking a million thoughts and yet can't seem to finish any of them! lol.
I am definitely tired. I am looking forward to not being hungry.
I went to the last day assembly at my school today. I was so tired sitting there, but I needed the closure with the school for the year and with my good friend who is leaving to go to another school. She has been so supportive of me in this last year! I am going to miss you TONS!
It was exciting to be leaving knowing that I won't see some of these people until September, and that I will hopefully look so different by then! It's kind of neat really!
I keep having people ask my why I am doing the surgery when I have done so well on my own. I am very proud of what I have done on my own. My best way to describe what I am doing is to say that this process has been like a relationship. Up until now I've been dating the lifestyle change. Tomorrow I marry it. Tomorrow the committment level increases. In speaking with my surgeon as well, I was reassured that this is the right decision. He told me that research shows that while people can make the changes I have made on my own, due to genetics most people gain back the weight within a year or two. I don't want to go back. He also told me I had plateaued because my body was in protection mode. He said that our bodies, historically have been trained to protect themselves in times of famine and natural disaster. So my body was thinking that something was happening in the world so it was self-protecting. He said it would be very difficult to get past this.
There are also so many other benefits for me for this surgery. My hope is that if we choose to have more children, that we won't have to persue fertility treatments next time.  I have PCOS and research has shown to make a huge improvement in the symptoms of this syndrome.
I know this is the right choice for me. I can't wait to feel better about myself and to be a healthier me.
It's time for me to pack my bag and get ready to go! Thanks to all who have read my blog and hopefully will follow me on my journey!!
This is a picture of me last summer!

Me!

48 hours from now!

48 hours from now!!

48 hours from now I will be on the operating table. They will be doing my gastric bypass surgery. I've been working on this for almost 2 years, and finally it's almost here. In the last 13 months, I have lost 110 pounds. I know that I actually have lost more than that, but before June 1st, 2011 I refused to step on a scale. On that day I weighed (nothing I usually would share, but as part of my journey, I am not ashamed as that is not me anymore) 330 pounds. The saddest part is that I know I was heavier than that before. So from that date I have lost 110 lbs. Today I sit at 219.8 lbs. I feel like a completely different person already.
So I thought a blog would be a great way to document my journey from here on in. I will post some pics of me from a year ago and will keep updating pictures along the way.
So today, I am so excited, and yet exhausted from the changes in me in the last two weeks preparing for this surgery. I started my clear fluids today and must do the same tomorrow. But I just keep remembering it will all be worth it!
My hope is to hit 199 pounds by the time I go back to school! So we will see. I also have set some goals in my running. I want to build back up to 5k by september and hopefully 10k by Christmas, and then next spring I want to run my first half marathon!!! I am determined to meet these goals, so hopefully my recovery will be swift!!
Today's goal was to start this blog and then I have to start thinking about packing for my hospital stay. I hate hospitals (like most people.... not sure I've ever heard anyone say they love hospitals... lol). So hopefully my time there will go quickly.
I've purchased my post surgery "full fluids" that I can have when I get home. After doing shakes for 2 weeks and then clear fluid, the idea of sugar free pudding is sooooooo exciting.
I've thought a lot about the foods I won't be able to eat again, and I have to be honest, it doesn't bother me. I am so excited to become a new person physically that foods are no longer my comfort.
I can't wait to shop in "regular" stores.. although I am sure my husband is not that excited.. but I am trying to reassure him that I will get better deals.. lol
So that's all for today! I am going to rest and prepare for the next few days!

This is me in April.

Me.